Help: I want a great place to get married in New England!

In response to this post, on 2000 dollar wedding, I created the following list, which has been requested many times by readers of 2000 wedding.

My grandparents 50th anniversary party was at Mount Agamenticus in York Maine. Its a large hall on the top of a mountain. We had a caterer, but I think I remember there being a kitchen. It has incredible views, and is a beautiful rustic place. The website isn't great, but here it is: http://www.agamenticus.org/index.htmlProbably best for you to just call and ask questions, but I'm sure its affordable.

Carters cross country ski center in Bethel Maine is a small lodge but I know the owners and their daughter had her reception there. Since its a ski center, they would likely be interested in renting it out off season. Call (207) 539-4848 and ask to talk to Jessica. Anne (her mom) can also help you, but I think Jes would be more into the idea. (she had her recpetion there.) Jes and I were great friends and on the cross country ski team together in high school. :-)

This place is amazing. http://www.kezarlakehouse.com/westways.htmlItused to be a restaurant but is now a vacation rental. I'm not sure it would be ideal for a large wedding, but it could work. Kezar Lake is one of the most beautiful in Maine. There are a bunch of state parks on the coast of Maine and on inland lakes that have facilities for groups. Check out the Maine state parks webpage.

Sebago Lake is really cool and has a group picnic facility. http://www.maine.gov/cgi-bin/doc/parks/find_one_name.pl?park_id=26

This place in Casco, Maine seems kitchy and fun, but I don't know anything about it personally: http://www.alyssasmotel.com/index.htm

The best way to rent a "camp" (Maine speak for summer cottage - not summer camp like what you go to when you're a kid) is to find one you like, find out who owns it, then call them up and ask about it. There are a bunch of affordable camps on lakes in Western Maine in Bryant Pond and Locke Mills Maine. Local real estate agents can guide your search.

Mt. Greylock in North Adams Mass has a lodge on top of it and a large open field that would be ideal for a wedding. Not sure if they would rent it out, but might be worth checking out. Fantastic views and sunsets! http://www.mass.gov/dcr/parks/mtGreylock/
There's also this site for Massachusetts parks: http://www.mass.gov/dcr/recreate/dayuse.htm

Think about renting a local dowhnill ski lodge off-season. You could get a really good rate since these places are largely sitting unoccupied during the summer. Potentially you could have the ceremony on the top of the mountain, transported by chair-lift, then the receiption at the lodge at the base.
Ideas:http://www.skiblackmountain.org/
http://www.camdensnowbowl.com/
http://www.mtabram.com/
http://www.lostvalleyski.com/ (A lot of folks from my high school get married here)http://www.sprucemountain.org/

Here are some more conventional and less DIY ideas:
http://www.bearmtninn.com/ - has "packages" which could be fairly affordable if you're not having too many people
http://www.cape-cottages.com/ A private, peaceful place located on Thompson Lake in Otisfield, Maine. Site available May, June, September and October only. Perfect for outdoor, tented receptions. Lodging onsite. Limit 140 guests.
http://www.highlandlakeresort.com/

My friend Thea is a wedding photographer in New Hampshire and has been to a TON of weddings in New England at all sorts of venues. I'm sure she'd be happy to give some ideas. thea@authenticeye.com

Hope this is helpful. Best of luck!

Our postcard invites

This gives you a rough idea of how they came out. We're very happy with them! My brother designed them. Total cost was $60 - I ordered 50 invitations but they gave me at least 65! So they came out to under a dollar each. Thanks to Vintage Glam Weddings (and Martha Stewart, I guess) for the the vintage postcard image we used on the back!

Greener Printer

I'm lucky to be in the Bay Area because we have such a wide selection of eco-friendly venders. I found Greener Printer, located in Berkeley, by doing a quick google search. Its a local business that does their printing in-house, and they operate on 100% wind power through investments in renewable energy credits. They are printing our postcard invitations on 100% recycled, 50% post-consumer waste, bleach-free cardstock with soy based ink. You also get this nifty statement:

Environmental Benefits Statement
By using GreenerPrinter and New Leaf Paper for this project, you are conserving the following resources:
.6 Gallons of Water
.1 Pounds of Solid Waste
.2 Pounds of Greenhouse Gasses
.2 Miles in a Car

For 50 postcards, it was about $60. This is twice the amount that overnightprints, Zazzle, Vista Print or other printers would have cost, but I didn't even want to send out paper in the first place, so this makes me feel a lot better about it!

what's up with the budget?

Some people don't get why we - an attorney and an engineer - are having such a "cheap" wedding. While we certainly could afford to spend twice what we're spending or even more if we went into debt, we just don't want to! One of the biggest reasons is that we're hoping to buy a house in the next few months and that will take nearly all of our savings and almost double our monthly expenses if it all goes through.



I think within an hour or so of Dave popping the question we were already starting to plan and I'm nearly certain* we discussed a budget of well under $10,000. That said, the money was certainly not the only or most important consideration because we wanted the venue for our ceremony and reception to reflect us and we also didn't want this thing to rule our lives. As a result our budget has shrunk and expanded a few times (all well under $10,000) based on food, venue and other things. For example, it was really important for us to have everything outside, but without the hassle of having to have everything rented and brought in. Lucky for us we found the perfect place and its very affordable. But darn it, good food is expensive!



Here's how everything (so far) has broken down:

• Use fee for ceremony and reception site: $800
• Cake: $200
• printing invitations: $60
• stamps for invites: $13
• Dress: $210
• Dress alterations: $360 (gulp)
• Veil and fascinator: $30
• Catering and related fees: $4,060
• Paper for tablecloths: $90
• Beeswax candles: $40
• Votive holders: $30
• Cake stands: $10
• Dave's Ring: $120
• Hotel room night of the wedding: $300 (we splurged for the fancy suite)

Total: $6,323

Yet to buy:

• the bar bill (just wine and beer - our estimate is around $800)
• my shoes ($80)
• potted plants (centerpieces) ($100)
• polaroid film ($50)
• hair ($90)
• manicure/pedicure ($40)
• my bouquet ($20)
• Dave's tie ($30)
• Marriage License ($30)
• Flickr account for wedding pics ($23)
• Officient Fee ($30)

Suff we're NOT spending money on!

• music $0 - ipod!
• photographer $0 - friends and family's digital cameras!
• escort cards $0 - not us
• menus $0 - unnecessary
• Save the date cards $0 - sent an email!
• favors $0 - unnecessary
• programs $0 - unneccary
• bathroom baskets $0 - very unnecessary
• bridesmaids $0 - not us
• groomsmen $0 - not us
• transportation $0 - carpooling!
• garter $0 - what for?
• my wedding ring $0 - my engagement ring will do (I think, haven't completely decided on this one yet)
• cake serving set $0 - unnecessary
• unity candles $0 - unnecessary
• ring pillow $0 - unnecessary
• bottled water/matchbooks/napkins/cds/shot glasses/beer koozies with our names on them $0 - unnecessary
• ceremony and reception decorations $0 - our venue is naturally beautiful!
• lighting (other than candles) $0

*there was a lot of champagne that night, ok?

What a find: Cake Stands

Since meeting with our cake person back in March I've had my eye out for a pretty cake stand, since we decided on a fairly small cake. I found these for just $5 and $8!

Our cake is going to be two layers, vanilla with lemon cream and chocolate with raspberry mousse. It will be frosted with white buttercream (no fondant!) with swiss dots and a green ribbon. I haven't decided about what will go on top yet. Definitely NOT a huge monogram or any 'bride and groom' cake topper. Ugh, I hate those. I like the idea of two tiny pears, but Dave didn't like that idea. I'm not into all those cartooney or toy-like toppers, so we'll probably just do flowers or something.

Beeswax candles

When we were first researching venues, I ran a search on flickr for photos of other weddings to see what kind of feel the places had. The photos of weddings held at our venue looked vibrant, fun and casual, which is one of the reasons we ended up going with it. One wedding in particular had some evening photos with votive candles on the tables, and it looked so beautiful:

I started researching votive candles and votive holders and found that I could get the standard fare for pretty cheap! But somewhere along the way I was clued into the fact that those cheap paraffin candles are pretty terrible for the environment:

"Paraffin wax consists of alkane hydrocarbons and melts between 47°C and 65°C (around 120° to 150° F). It is derived from light lubricating oil distillates. When burned, the fumes can contain a number of carcinogens including Acetaldehyde, Acrolein, Benzene, Formaldehyde, Polychlorodibenzo-p-dioxins, Polyaromatic Hydrocarbons and Toulene."

- Green Living Tips. Woah, that's definitely not the kind of thing I want to expose my nearest and dearest to! Not only that a lot of the cheapo candles you can buy in bulk come from China where the industrial practices can be shady. A fantastic alternative is 100% beeswax, which is natural, renewable, clean burning and relatively inexpensive. Not only that, but you can often find beeswax candles from bees that have been buzzing around your own backyard!

Cost comparison:

• 100 paraffin unscented tea-light candles in metal cups: $9.99 (Amazon.com)
• 24 beeswax tea-light candles in plastic cups: $15.00 (Toadily Handmade)

So beeswax candles are more expensive ($.63 each vs. $.10 each) but not prohibitively so and the environmental offset is significant. Some other things to consider:

• if the beeswax is unfiltered it will have a natural yellow-gold color and mild scent. The ivory beeswax candles you can find have been filtered which removes much of the natural scent.
• Consider getting tea lights "naked" or without metal or plastic cups. If you're use glass holders, put a little water in the bottom which will make removing the wax easier.
• If you find a phemonenal deal on beeswax candles, make sure you're buying 100% beeswax before making your purchase. If they are cut with paraffin they will be cheaper.
• DIY option - buy cotton wicking and filtered beeswax to melt and pour your own candles into recycled jars, glasses or teacups

What about soy?

Soy candles are made of hydrogenated soybean oil and have a low melting point so are often contained in tins or jars. Soy candles also burn clean and have many of the same benefits as beeswax candles. But growing, harvesting and processing soybeans is far more land, water, chemical and fossil fuel intensive than beeswax production. However, if you're vegan, then soy candles are probably the right choice for you.

Resources:

• Toadily Handmade - 100% beeswax candles from Mission Viejo, California
• Hurd Beeswax Candles - Berkeley, California
• Candle Bee Farm - candles from a vegetarian beekeeper in Kentucky
• Sunbeam Candles - Created with solar power in upstate New York
• Chicago Honey Co-Op - totally cool urban apiary in Chicago
  

Tabletop trials and tribulations

I'm really pretty chill about most of our wedding details and decor. I mean, it just does not matter that much. We knew we didn't want it to look like a banquet hall or have everything really matchy matchy. Since the entire event is outside on a patio and deck, there's nothing to decorate except the tables anyway. Initially we thought we'd rent green tablecloths and have white antique tea cloths as overlays, with potted herbs as centerpieces. Then we learned that 1) the green tablecloths that the rental company had were a really yucky color and 2) our venue would provide us with white tablecloths and napkins FOR FREE!

So we changed our minds, and decided to use the free linens since that would save us approximately $120. But I still felt like there should be a splash of color on the tables, either in the form of a runner or an overlay or something. So I did some online research and dragged Dave to fabric and craft stores. I learned a lot:

• store bought table runners start at about $20.
• fabric starts at about $8 a yard, and eco-friendly (bamboo, organic cotton, hemp) is around $15 a yard.
• paper is LOVELY; it comes in a lot of patterns, colors, textures, and eco-friendly options; it does not require ironing or sewing, it can be reused and repurposed, and above all it's CHEAP!

I really wanted to use either a tree-free or recycled paper. There area lot of options out there. I found lokta paper, which is handmade in the mountains of Nepal from the inner bark of the lokta bush. Lokta is one of the strongest paper fibers, and since new growth regenerates quickly it provides a renewable resource. Works for me!

If you're thinking of going this route, I've listed some resources below for ideas:

Paper Source - Papers from Japan, Nepal, India, Europe and others. Chain of retail stores too.
The Paper Studio - a huge selection, and you can search by color!
Paper Mojo - A nice selection organized by type of print, and a great sale section
LCI paper - carries Japanese chiyogami paper in several sizes and a lot of solid colors
Hollander's - over 1,600 styles of paper including a wide selection of natural fibers

However, because the weight and color of paper varies so much, especially with handmade paper, I highly suggest seeing these in person before making a purchase. Also, you'll save shipping costs and minimize your carbon footprint if you patronize a local paper or art shop.

Buying your wedding dress online

source

The biggest reason I bought my dress online was due to the fact that I refused to spend more than a couple of hundred dollars on this dress, or a lot of time searching for the perfect vintage dress that was within my budget. The eco-dresses out there are fantastic, but I couldn't find anything that was really my style or in my budget. It would have been fun to search for that vintage dress, but I knew it would have taken a lot of time that I didn't have! However, shopping online means you can't try it on (and most places won't take returns), you're not supporting a local business, the dress was likely made overseas, and with all the transportation from wherever its made, to their warehouse to your door, there are a lot of fossil fuels used. I feel pretty bad about those aspects, so I was determined to find something I could wear again.

I also had a pretty good idea of what I wanted in terms of cut, style, length, etc. (tea-length, casual, strapless - like a summer sun dress) I did go to one local bridal shop that purportedly had a good selection of affordable vintage, tea-length dresses but the service was pretty terrible and I didn't find anything close to what I was looking for. If you have no idea what you are looking for, then trying to find a wedding dress online is going to be really challenging.
Here are some things I learned along the way:

• Google image search is your friend!
• If its incredibly unbelievably cheap, you're likely buying a replica - beware!
• Try to find a picture of a real bride wearing the dress so you can see how it would look on someone other than the 5'10" 115lb model wearing it.
• Read reviews of the place you're buying the dress from, and make sure they are legit before giving up your credit card number. Also, make sure they are authorized by the manufacturer to sell the dress, otherwise it could be a knock-off and of poor quality.
  
• Pay close attention to the manufacturer's size chart and measure yourself before you commit to ordering a certain size - dress sizes are different than street-clothes sizes!
• That said, budget for alterations! Its very likely you'll have to make some changes to make it fit perfectly. My dress cost about $200 with shipping but the alterations were well over $300. I was ok with that since no matter what the cost of the dress I'd have to have it altered. It was also my opportunity to give some business to a local dressmaker!

I ended up buying my Dessy dress from Tie The Knot Bride (they are an authorized retailer) and had a good experience. They estimated that the dress would be shipped 10 weeks after I ordered it, but it was delivered in about 6 weeks.

Photo Holders

Right off the bat we knew we couldn't do everything ourselves, because we both have very busy and demanding jobs and didn't want the wedding planning to completely take over our lives. But we wanted to retain creative control over the wedding, so we're doing all of the decor ourselves.Our first project was really designed and executed by Dave. We wanted to have photos of us and our families at the tables for people to look at and talk about, but we didn't want them to be just scattered around. So Dave made these clever photo holders from nothing more than wood and wire for just a few cents each.

Ingredients:

• Wood - either use a 4 by 4 or a square post, usually comes in 3 by 3


• Thick Wire -we found straight 12" lengths of wire about the same gauge as hangers in our local hardware store for. 20 each. You could also use wire hangers though.
  

Tools:

• Saw for cutting wood into cubes


• sander and sandpaper (or just sandpaper if you're paitent!)


• Drill


• Pliers

• measuring tape


• straight edge


• pencil

Instructions:

With the pliers, bend one end of the wire into a spiral.

This will take some muscle! You can do circles, squares, triangles, etc:

Alternative - use an aligator clip (arguably not as elegant).
Using the measuring tape and pencil, mark four inch intervals on the wood, then cut into cubes.

Source

On the cut end, use a straight edge to find the center by drawing diagonally from corner to corner:

Using a drill bit the same gague as your wire, drill a hole about an inch and a half or two inches deep, being careful to make sure its as straight as possible. (we used a drill press) Sand the cube until its nice and smooth. Insert the non-coiled end of the wire into the hole you've drilled. Stain or paint the wooden base.